Hellsing Academy
by Beckett Grey
Summary: In the name of Knowledge, the impure minds of the Uneducated shall be expelled into eternal detention. Aplus.
1. Default Chapter

Target Recognized. The young man led her into the empty broom closet. "Do you want another cigarette?" He asked. She did not reply. "You're very cute, you know. What grade are you in?" The girl remained silent. "You don't talk much, do you? Well, that's okay, I guess." A lustful gleam appeared in his eyes. "You know, here in the dark, we could do whatever we wanted. No one would ever know." The girl looked at him. She tilted her head to the side, and said nothing. "Do you want to...kiss me?" The girl smiled ever-so-slightly. "I'll take that to mean 'yes'..." The boy put his hands on her soft, pale shoulders. "You're so very pretty...so very pretty..." He leaned down toward her lips, closing his eyes in anticipation. "Target aquired." The boy's eyes opened. He took a hesitant step backward. "W-w-who-" A figure detached itself from the shadows. It was tall, garbed in a suit of blood-red fabric, a cravat at its neck. A heavy, wide-brimmed hat obscured the figure's eyes. "P-Professor Arucard! I was just-" "Get out of the way, student." The professor reached into his jacket. From within its inky depths he withdrew a long silver scanner. "No! Don't-!" But the boy was too late. The professor took aim at the girl, smiled, and pulled the trigger. The boy threw himself backward as the beam speared overhead and struck the girl between the eyes. A moment later, it disappeared. The professor examined the gun's readout. "As expected. Another drop-out. Escorting the subject off of Academy grounds." "D-d-drop-out?" The boy looked up with wide, horrified eyes. From where he lay, the professor seemed to tower over him, impossibly tall. Professor Arucard smiled.  
  
They sat around the table, saying nothing. On the screen, a fuzzy, unclear video played back an hour's worth of studies. The camera focused on a man, tall and dark-haired, who stood at the head of the classroom. "This video was taken not more than two weeks ago. If you'll watch carefully, it shows full well the obvious problems developing with the tutor." They watched in horror as the smiling figure dictated incorrect notes to his body of students. "It's obvious this man must be stopped. It's an abomination before the Academy. I suggest we take action immediately!" "I already have," said the figure at the head of the table. All eyes turned toward her. She was shorter than them, her body smaller, but about her person there hung an intensity that brooked no arguments. "I find that very reassuring, Principal Hellsing," said the oldest of the board members. "Which team have you dispatched to investigate this matter?" "No team." "No team??" Principal Integra Wingates Hellsing smirked inwardly at their expressions. She took a sip of her coffee. "Just one professor." "One?!"  
  
The professor strolled down the path toward the school. His lean, elegant form seemed to step directly from the shadows around him. Behind his spectacles, his eyes gleamed with amusement. "A wonderful evening," he remarked. "Makes me want to grade final exams." He smiled at his own musings, and cast an eye up to the evening sky.  
  
Ceres Victoria, youngest of the grad students, ran between her comerades' desks, delivering soda and snacks to those few who still endured. She stopped before the desk of her commander. "Jack," she said, offering him the candy bar. "Here, Jack. Take this. Reinforcements should be arriving soon." Jack smiled wearily. "You know, I never expected to end up like this," she said, her eyes far away. "I wanted to become a teacher, just like you will. I wanted to finish grad school. But this...this is..." she trailed off. "Jack?" Jack's eyes were hollow. The animation was gone from his face. "Jack? Speak to me, Jack!" "Mmmrph..." muttered Jack. "Pi is 4. Columbus discovered Assyria. Shrimp are poisonous...Mmrrargh!" "No! Not you!" Ceres backed away from the Jack-creature. "Not you!" She drew her slide rule from its holster and leveled it at him. "Don't...no..." But Jack was beyond hearing. He reached for her, mindlessly, and her fingers tightened on the plastic... WHAM! A huge black grading-pen burst out through the Jack-creature's textbook. It screamed in agony and collapsed. Behind it stood a tall, gaunt figure in a wide-brimmed hat. The figure smiled at her. "A nice night, don't you think, Student Girl?" She leveled her slide-rule at the man. "A night like this makes me want to give exams..." Terrified, she fired an equation at the figure. He smiled and shrugged it off. "Not...a student!" Ceres turned and fled.  
  
She fled past the empty desks that loomed cold and forbidding in her eyes, past the blackboard itself, until she stood before the open doors of the teachers' lounge. There was no other way to go. She stepped inside. The great, empty lounge was lit fitfully by a single flickering flourescent bulb. The shadows seemed to dance and sway before her eyes, painting strange shapes on the walls. "To one who seeks knowledge, the lounge will always leave its doors open." There! Behind the far desk, she could see a man. As she looked, he stepped into the light and revealed himself to her. His suit was expensive, his glasses spotless. "Are you...the teacher?" "I am one who guides students, yes." The man paused over an open textbook. "So young, this one, so eager to learn...yet at the same time so afraid..." "I'm...I mean...there was...you're not..." "Are you referring to the freshmen outside?" "Freshmen?" "Oh yes. You see, when a student has their learning stripped away from them, they revert back to mindless, slathering first-years like the ones you saw outside. Once that happens, any teacher may command them." The man smiled. "You didn't think all teachers educated their students, did you? For example..." He motioned toward her. She was drawn to him, drawn by the power of his misinformation. He wrapped an arm around her. "Your mind is so sweet...so innocent," he said. "I won't make you into a freshman like the others...no...not you..."  
  
The door to the teachers' lounge flew open and bounced off the far wall with a bang. There, standing in the doorway was a gaunt, smiling figure. The man she had seen before! He locked eyes with the teacher. "Your reign of misinformation is over...Punk!" "Hmph." The teacher scoffed. "Who are you, and what are you doing in my lounge?" "My name is Professor Arucard. From Hellsing Academy's bullshit division." "Hellsing Academy? Bullshit? You must be joking!" "You're right," said the professor. "You're far beyond bullshit by now. Look at you! You're not fit to teach a monkey!" He stepped forward. "Freshmen, destroy him!" The slathering hordes leapt from the darkness of the lounge, their bogus information tearing into the professor. For a moment, he seemed to fall beneath their bombardment, but in mere moments, he stood back up and cut them down with simple algebra. When they were vanquished, and their bodies lay at his feet, he turned his eyes once more on the teacher. "Wait!" cried the man. "Wait! We're both educators, I can see that now. Why fight me? We could join forces, you and I, and-" Professor Arucard drew his calculator from within his jacket. He levelled it at the teacher. Terrified, the man held Ceres out before him like a shield. "You wouldn't cut down a student, would you?" "Ceres," whispered the professor. "I am about to destroy your hypotheses. Prepare yourself." Ceres winced. The professor fired. The theorum bore through Ceres's hypotheses and cut down the teacher behind her. The teacher collapsed into dust. Ceres fell to the floor, wounded. Arucard loomed impossibly tall above her. "You are badly wounded. Without special assistance, you will fail. I will whisper the secret formula to you, Student Girl, if that is your choice. Would you choose that?" "Please," she husked. "Yes..." "Very well." Professor Arucard knelt down.  
  
Principal Hellsing stood beside her car, watching as her faculty cleaned up the remains of the corrupt teacher's work. Her face showed neither pleasure nor displeasure. The wind ruffled her suit about her, but she did not feel it. Professor Arucard stepped out of the school, carrying a young girl in his arms. As they met, he leaned down, and spoke to her. "This is Ceres Victoria," he said. "She has chosen to become one of the faculty at Hellsing Academy." Principal Hellsing scowled. "You have no power to make that choice." The professor merely grinned. "She chose for herself." 


	2. Order 2: Truant

Order 2: Truancy  
  
The night was cold and wet. Thick fog billowed around the arc-sodiums of Hellsing Academy, casting weird shadows on the rain-washed pavement.  
Ceres Victoria lay on atop the wet brick roof and waited. This was what she had been trained to expect.  
The young couple stepped out of the side doors and started down the path to the dorms.  
"It was nice," said the boy. "Getting together to study like this. We should do it again some time."  
The girl smiled. "Absolutely. We could-"  
  
"Too slow!" Instructor Ferguson shook his finger at Ceres. "You're moving too slow. Setting up that sign-in sheet should have taken 3.58 less seconds. You'll need to work on that."  
  
"What is it? What's wrong?" The boy followed her gaze. There, in a nearby alley, stood a girl. She was dressed oddly, and her motions seemed...  
"I think there's something wrong with that girl."  
As if on cue, the girl started toward them. The couple backed up, unsure, and then-  
  
"You're a professor now," said Ferguson. "You won't need to take the precautions of a normal instructor."  
"Fine." Ceres filled out the attendence sheet. "I...I'm not sure I can..."  
"You must. Any second now, those students will be exposed to an outsider. You cannot let that happen."  
"But-"  
"Now. Go now!"  
Her hand tightened on the attendence sheet. She didn't move.  
"Hmm. Gaddes. If you could?"  
The hall monitor nodded, and stepped out to intercept the girl.  
  
From her perch atop the roof, Ceres could hear the young couple's cries of surprise. They had had no idea what they were dealing with. She flipped the attendence sheet back and closed the book.  
"I'm sorry," she muttered,  
"Don't be. I heard once that newcomers who fail on their first day usually last longer."  
She nodded, not looking at him.  
"But," he continued. "You're a professor now, so I suppose you'll last as long as you want to."  
"...Maybe."  
  
Later, in the exercise yard:  
"Victoria."  
She looked up. "Yes, sir?"  
"Though you are part of Hellsing Academy now, you are also a guest. As such, special accomodations have been made for your quarters. However, in all other respects, you will not be treated any differently."  
"Good," she said. "I don't need any special treatment."  
Ferguson said nothing.  
"What?"  
"You are...something of a problem."  
"A problem? What-"  
"Miss Victoria." The voice came from behind her. She whirled around and faced a thin, smartly dressed older man. He folded his hands behind him. "I would be pleased to show you to your quarters now, if you don't mind."  
  
They stepped into the dormitory hallway.  
"This way, please," said her guide. "Your room is just down here. I'm afraid we haven't had the chance to be properly introduced. I am Vice-Principal Walter. Integra has instructed me to take good care of you during your time here."  
Ceres nodded. "What's all this business about me being a problem?"  
"A problem?" Walter chuckled. "I wouldn't worry about it. As a professor, you won't be able to use lower-level textbooks and such..."  
"Oh, well, that won't be a problem!" She stopped. "Or is that all?"  
"I also would not recommend going out during summer vacation," said Walter cryptically. He pushed open the door. "This will be your room from here on out. I hope you find everything to your liking?"  
Ceres looked over the spartan, business-like bed-desk-lamp combination. "This should be just fine," she said. "I mean, look at the size of this bed! I can't wait to sleep here."  
  
But she found herself unable to sleep, all the same. Finally, she got up and went wandering about the building, hoping to walk off some of her sleeplessness.   
"Don't go instructing thoughtlessly," said a voice from down the hall. Ceres turned, and came face to face with a small, intense-looking woman.  
"I wouldn't think of doing such a thing!" she said, mildly offended.  
The woman watched her for a moment more, then turned and walked away, leaving Ceres alone in the hall; confused and just a little irritated.  
  
Principal Integra Wingates Hellsing stood in her office and contemplated. Her piercing blue eyes gave away nothing of her thoughts. She waited.  
After a moment, the professor stepped out of the shadows and stood at attention.  
"I had no idea you went around turning innocent students into professors," said Integra, her gaze focused out over the picture window.  
"I do not," said the professor. "She chose as much herself."  
"Hmph. Integra turned her gaze on the professor. "Then be sure to instruct her well, Arucard." She turned back to the array of papers on her desk. "Since the 5th of the month, a pair of students has been missing. Reports suggest they've turned truant. I want you to hunt them down."  
"The youth of today. No respect for education."  
Integra stared hard at him. "It is not your place to judge that."  
"Very well, then. Tomorrow." The professor left.  
  
Ceres stared at the book that had been laid out for her. Part of her wanted desperately to leap to the desk and consume every last bit of information. Another part was terrified of what it might mean.  
She swept the book off her desk and went to bed.   
  
They headed north on his little two-seater, going nowhere in particular. The day was cold but clear, and the air seemed refreshing to them after the long days in the dormitory.  
"How many tests have we missed?" she whispered in his ear.  
"Almost nine, if you put us both together," he said, and grinned. "But who cares? We've got people cheating for us while we're gone. Nothing to fear. No one has any idea." He kissed her cheek.  
They hit the Grand Street tunnel, and then-  
"Hey! There's someone in the road!"  
They swerved just in time to avoid hitting the tall, bespectacled figure that stood on the center-line; but there was nowhere else to go. The way forward was blocked by a large, boxy Oldsmobile. They stopped the bike.  
"Two students. Not even out of primaries yet. Cheating on tests- not because you can't do the work, but for fun." The professor grinned. "Well. Has it been fun? Have you enjoyed yourselves?"  
"Who the hell ARE you? How do you know all this?"  
"That isn't important anymore," said the professor. "You won't be around long enough to find out." He reached into his coat and withdrew-  
"Wait! Please!"  
Two white slips of paper. "It is my pleasure to inform you that you have both recieved failing grades for your classes, and will henceforth be expelled."  
"NOOOOOOO!"  
The boy stood rigid, holding his slip. The girl turned away, terrified, and fled back down the tunnel.  
Seras Victoria was there to greet her, slip in hand.  
  
"Victoria!"  
She turned. "Yes?"  
Ferguson nodded to her. "Welcome to Hellsing Academy."  
"Yes. You've done well, Student Girl."  
She turned again, and the professor was there, smiling at her over the rims of his spectacles.  
"I have a name," she said. "Seras Victoria. Not Student Girl."  
His smile widened. "Study the texts," he said. "If you don't, you will fall behind. Do as I say." He faded back into the shadows.  
"My...teacher..." 


End file.
